why are you so lost sweetie, by bela

why are you so lost sweetie

by bela

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	1.	intro 03:49
	2.	vicious pure (demo) 02:02
	3.	mercy 03:55
	4.	970968 harp 02:00
	5.	never be sick in my arms again... 01:30
	6.	HNY, AM 10:45 01:01
	7.	hid (harp) 02:28
	8.	all words shall fail crossing this river 03:31
	9.	nothing really changes 02:14
	10.	rotating lamp music 03:10
	11.	piano hopes 02:35

about

"a collection of songs to collect my heart

this is a series of journals from winter of 2018 to spring of 2019.

i joined south korean military service in aug 2017. it is mandatory for souls born with male bodies and i had had lost my will to fight against it. i wanted it finished as early as possible, as the term of servitude was nearly 2 years long. partly because the slow crescendo of family pressure had choked me, and i hate being chased.

in the base, i wasn't allowed to keep my mobile phone, i wasn't allowed to keep my laptop. i had 5 shared public pcs that would log out every 2 hours, with 55 other people in the queue. i figured, "i could make something of it?"

since then, i started making little midi sketches using onlinesequencer.net, recorded them using an online audio recorder service, mixed using a freeware program.
my favorite in the online sequencer is a "concert harp" instrument.

all because we humans of the early 21st century are too confused by what's going on."

-bela

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released July 28, 2020

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