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The ghost doctor

by sparkling Caleb

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1.
I’m here if you need it I’m gone if you want out I’ll fall if you follow I’m here if you want it all Underneath that big tree Holding you close Want this to last I know that it won’t I’m watching grass grow I’m watching paint dry Feel the sun on my eye Standing there out on the lawn What do you see when you’re out there Standing so still Is it me? Am I in your thoughts or have you forgotten I hope that you have Watching little birds flutter in the twilight The air is still without your voice Reminiscing again about another year Side by side hearts aligned, holding your hand Seeing the dust collect I’m wondering if it’s all that’s left Sun is leaving spots on all my walls I’m watching my plants grow green and tall I’m watching paint dry I’m watching grass grow I’m watching the sun go down outside I’m watching the people driving by I’m seeing the moments of my life Going by like the sun in the sky Another year another set of tears I’ve yet to cry Head of the dawn out on the rocks What do you see when you’re out there standing so still? Is it me? Am I in your thoughts or have you forgotten? I hope that you have All that time we spent together as lovers When in the end it’s like you never even knew me I sit under the tree with only memories as company Will I always feel this broken or can I change? Seeing that photograph of you has almost faded all to white But I’m looking at it and it’s like the moon on a cloudless night I’m opening my door I’m seeing the light that streams in cold I’m feeling my footsteps leave the floor I’m seeing the people going by I’m hearing the noises and the cries I feel the sun sparkle on my eyes My heart is fluttering and weak Feeling the ground under my feet I take off my mask but nothing’s underneath Head of the dawn out on the rocks What do you see when you’re out there standing so still? Is it me? Am I on your mind now or have you forgotten? I know that you have (Enough for you, it’s enough for you) I’m here if you need it I’m gone if you want out I’ll fall if you follow I’m here if you want it all
2.
Go outside 02:06
Where did you learn that word? Doesn’t sound like something that you’d say (And I know you won’t) but If you wanna go outside If you wanna change your life I’m not gonna stop you There’s nothing you can’t do cause We don’t have to live by their rules (If you wanna go outside, if you wanna change your life) Can you let those grudges go? That was so stupid And you’re spending all that time on her when you say you don’t care And the words that you use but you’ll never speak If you wanna go outside If you wanna change your life I’m not gonna stop you There’s nothing you can’t do Cause we don’t have to live by their rules (Can you let those grudges go that was so stupid) (Spending all that time on her it’s making me nervous)
3.
The wheel 04:41
I see you there with your hand out Is it stretching out? Out to me? If I got hit by a car on my home from work would you care? It feels a bit like I’m back where I started Just how much time I’ve wasted I guess it’s not something that keeps me up but Sometimes I wonder if you’ll call If you hear it in the morning then it’s probably that call for you If you go out in the evening then it’s probably too late to choose (Was there something else I should do?) You say this and that And you say it so loud You say this and that And I don’t care anymore The only thing I have to say that’s between us is Baby what’s your fantasy? I just keep pushing you away But I only hurt myself I guess that’s what I want but is it best for me? Crying and pleading and sobbing and You move through life In ways that I’ll never know at all, at all This is all I think about How much time I’ve wasted (Not gonna follow you there) I know I’m not the guy for you But I still want it, want it all If you hear it in the morning then it’s probably that call for you If you go out in the evening then it’s probably too late to choose It’s all going wrong Maybe that ghost doctor Cut the lines between our fates Something inside you saying there was something else that we were supposed to do Hey what’s the matter? What if we never even met at all? Would that be so bad after all? Wanna know what that would mean It seems like, uh There was something we were here To do but we lost our way How much time we’ve wasted Chasing around the wheel that spins that keeps together Maybe there’s some way to repair Just how much time I’ve wasted Just how much time I’ve wasted yeah I know we don’t really talk anymore but Sometimes I still wonder if that’s forever Honestly I don’t listen but If you don’t hear anything don’t worry I’m here for you yeah
4.
Texting 03:47
Listening to the words you say Missing what they mean If I make it rain on you tonight Would that bring you peace? If you look up at the rainbow arch That’s the only sign we get Maybe me, maybe you I just missed your text, I guess Show me some kind of sign There’s something else I want to say to you But you’ve gone away too fast now It’s another kind of thing that I’m always saying So you’ve heard it before It’s another kind of thing like this: “I’m not gonna bother you anymore”
5.
No rainbows 04:27
Floating away in a starless ocean reflection If you say you want to leave this place I won’t ask you why (Na na na na) It slips through your fingers You’re left empty handed Out without your slicker Slickly apprehended Wait for me there underneath the highway I will be holding my umbrella tight Lucky you lucky you You’re soaking wet let’s get you back inside Slowly falling floating melting Whisper to me “wake up I’m waiting” yeah Fading away In the falling snow I thought I saw you The flurry covered the flakes gently falling upon your red lips How long, how low? How long? let go Let go, let go Don’t go On the train I play a counting game but I’m not gonna follow you there No rain, no rainbows I’m soaking wet but home is still so far Clear as water dry as sand I’m choking on the smoke The sun gets in my eyes There are tears falling rolling down my cheek Fromise me now that you won’t go looking for trouble Promise a ghost Breathless it hurts We could stay inside and play some games I don’t know Wait for her and never see her yeah I’m not sure And I won’t turn back wondering if I’m out of step It’s a funny feeling like you’re peeling all the layers off me Sharp and fast it cuts me like broken glass If you’re too sparkly I can’t go near you because it hurts me eyes I’m waiting here underneath the highway Yeah I’ve been holding my umbrella tight Where are you? Where are you? I guess you had a bad day and I was wrong On the train I play a counting game But it’s no the kind I can win yet Not this time not this time
6.
What's left? 03:10
You know I don’t like to go out late You know I like to stay home But lately I’ve noticed you’re not around And how far apart we’ve grown There’s something that you crave A reassurance I can’t make I need to know I know that you want to leave me baby I know that it won’t be long When you say let’s go out dancing I haven’t seen that part of you in so long I knew this would be the last time that you held me in your arms Yeah I need to know Yeah I need to know I know When you take away your love what’s left? Not a lot of places to go When you take away your love what’s left? And tell me again how love is cruel and there’s no winners in this game? And just for once can you tell the truth and stop playing a reindeer game? The lie detector test says I’m not different from the rest I need to know There’s only one way to know your mind Feel your body move against mine With the red lights flashing bass lines pumping We both say we’re fine But just this once be straight with me And just this once come dance with me I need to know Yeah I need to know I know When you take away your love what’s left? Not a lot of places to go When you take away your love what’s left? So dance with me for the rest of the night Dance with me for the rest of your life yeah I need to know And you ask me Do you love me? And you say Of course I do Of course I do Of course I do Of course I do I need to know (Of course I do, of course I do) Yeah I need to know Sometimes I need to know So look for me for the rest of the night Look for me till the end of your life yeah I need to know Yeah I’ll never know I guess I’ll never know
7.
Stay 02:13
If this is love how come I feel so empty? But if we’re just friends how come it hurts to leave? I don’t care if it’s fake cause it’s all I’ve got You ask if I want you to stay You know I’ll keep coming back to you Even though you just like the attention And I keep thinking maybe maybe Maybe this time I’ll stick up for myself If this ain’t love then why does leaving feel so hard? And in the morning when I’m driving home the city feels so small I don’t care if it’s fake just don’t let me down You ask if I want you to stay Of course I do Of course I do Of course I do I keep thinking maybe maybe Maybe this time I’ll stick up for myself I keep thinking maybe maybe Maybe this time I’ll decide that I can be myself
8.
Here this all comes again it’s rushing back To where it all starts to unravel dizzy it’s brighter in that moment You’re already gone I’m still living in that place behind the scenes When I wake up I’m still so tired I’m tired of leaving without saying goodbye (It’s just a little thing) (It means everything) Is this the only place we can be together? I’m not sure I’m supposed to want this at all Gabby why you gotta be so mean I am trying to explain what I mean Lilah it isn’t like that at all Why do you always seem so bored? I guess you wanted some reward but It’s not the same It’s not like it used to be like it used to be It’s no the same no It’s not like it used to be like it used to be It gets harder to see What it’s supposed to be I’m like paper that’s creased Getting harder to please I’ve been running around The festival grounds because I want to get closer to you But when you leave without saying goodbye It’s a little thing but it kills me inside Stripes on the highway Can you see them from the hole in the roof of your car? Meghan there’s too many bands to see And this doesn’t feel like you and me anymore Helen why you gotta be so tall? You are all that I can see Entangled in this mess but It’s not the same It’s not like it used to be It’s not the same no It’s not like it used to be no You’re not the same You’re not like you used to be You’re not the same no Not like you used to be (like you used to be)

about

Writing blurbs is typically easy for us because the albums we publish are totally unique, and have little to no precedent for how to speak about them or describe them. But how do you write about new indie guitar pop in 2024? The sheer quantity of previous examples to compare anything new to is staggering - paralyzing, even. Every comparison feels insufficient.

What do you say when someone tells you an album from 2024 sounds like Belle and Sebastian or a C86 band or Women? We could say “The ghost doctor” by sparkling Caleb is a meditation on how My Bloody Valentine and Oasis were both signed to Creation at the same time, but how do we explain the song in 11/4 that kind of sounds like Tori Kudo covering Dave Matthews Band? How do we explain the saxophone solo at the end of Texting? Or anything about Texting? That it sounds like the last two Talk Talk albums if Talk Talk was Codeine and Codeine was Flipper’s Guitar? Should we also mention Duster? See, now everyone reading this thinks we’re lying. And then if we were to tell you that Caleb told us the guitars were inspired by Nick Long and not early Captured Tracks or Tim Kinsella? You don’t even know who Nick Long is!

It’s fair to summarize by saying the specter of 1960s guitar pop as filtered through its 90s and 00s interpreters looms large on the album. And while the instrumental arrangements, vocal harmonies, and squeaky clean guitars certainly have a foot in The Byrds, the vocals are undeniably 2020s. Unlike other punk-turned-pop projects, these vocals are front and center and confident (maybe even a little too confident at parts - maybe we should have sprung for some pitch correction on this one). The vocal melodies have that contemporary, low attention span quality of “every new vocal line has to be a new hook and no verses can have repetition” that's common in billboard pop music and completely alien to underground rock groups. In a different universe, this album is an appropriation of “cool, sunglasses-on rock” aesthetics for the sake of Big Pop interests, except it’s us here at Podunk Label releasing it and not Sony.

I guess this is the part where we hit you with the list of adjectives and hyperbole to truly get you champing at the bit to listen to this album if you haven’t already pressed play or stopped reading. Our friend and collaborator Bryce at @lockedgroove said it “Turns experimental indie rock on its head, with a singular sound that finds middle ground between discordance and lushness.” Our other friends at @155newsletter said “There’s plenty of addicting looseness and even occasional jankiness…but it’s also just a clever and classic album of guitar pop.” We could sum up by saying it’s earnest yet fun, and not afraid to break rules, but also takes itself completely seriously. What else do you expect from someone who only played hardcore and noise for the last decade? Your mileage may vary but there’s only one way to find out.

credits

released January 1, 2024

Vocals, guitars, keyboard, MIDI programming, arrangement, songwriting, lyrics - sparkling Caleb

Bass, drums, additional percussion, arrangement - Ned Paige


Flute and clarinet on “Go outside” performed by Hannah MacKenzie-Margulies

Saxophone on “Texting” arranged, written, improvised, and performed by Charles Gorczynski


Drums recorded at Funkadelic Studios, New York, NY

Bass recorded at Inspired By All The Bassists Everywhere In The World Studios, Queens, NY

Vocals and guitar recorded at Maison étincelante, Chicago, IL

Woodwinds recorded at Caverns, Minneapolis, MN


Mixed and mastered by Will Killingsworth at Dead Air Studios, MA

Additional mixing by Ben Rogers at Loud Sun Studio, NH


Photography - Julian Van Der Moere

Design, layout - Cole Cataneo


Distributed digitally by RouteNote

2024 Podunk Label

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